Tuesday, January 25, 2011

"I was enchanted to meet you. This night is sparking, don't you let it go."

This poem was the devotion for January 18th & I fell in love with it, so I thought I would share.

"If love" is conditional love. IT says, I love you...
if you run with the right crowd.
if you let me borrow your car this weekend.
if you sleep with me.
if you wear the latest styles and like loud music.
if you let me see your answers when I'm stumped.
if you don't hassle me with your problems.
if you loam me money for a beer.

"Because love" is easy love. It says, I love you...
because you were "most-valuable player" in last week's game.
because you voted for me as class president.
because you're crazy and make me laugh,
because you throw wild parties and like lots of bass.
because your reference letter helped land me a good job.
because you're hot and have great tattoos.
because you are basically a lot like me.

"Anyhow love" is hard, unconditional love. It says, I love you...
anyhow, even if you ignore me when I talk.
anyhow, even if you judge me unfairly and gossip behind my back.
anyhow, even if you like classical music.
anyhow, even if you are a lesbian.
anyhow, even if you have a fresh outbreak of acne.
anyhow, even if you grew up on the wrong side of town.
anyhow, even if you don't understand me and my lifestyle.

Monday, January 17, 2011

"You're the best definition of good intention..."

Hello everyone!

New semester:
The new semester is in full swing. Unfortunately the first week of classes started off...well, icy. The first three days of classes were cancelled for the most part because of bad weather. We had some ice to come across the area which made driving dangerous. Aside from that, my classes seem to be going well! However, I have yet to have my first day of supreme court and public policy! My professor had to cancel classes last week due to a family emergency. I sure hope everything is all right and things are looking up for her and her family.
This semester I'm taking 16 hours and I'm honestly looking forward to all of my classes except for statistics. That was one that I was forced into. You know, the "don't take it, don't graduate" type situation. This class is going to be a struggle for two main reasons. One, I don't speak number; two, I don't speak Chinese. This semester all of the statistic classes are being taught by graduate students. However, none of the undergrads enrolled in the courses were aware of this until the first day of class. Of course, I would have the graduate student who is from a Chinese background. He seems to be a really nice guy and very smart, but I'm having trouble with his accent. I've found it very hard to understand him. I've also noticed he is having trouble understanding us. I can only imagine the look on his face when he has to converse with me the first time. Let's just say, I've got a heck of a southern accent according to others from different areas across the state. Despite the challenges I will face in this class, I'm determined to do well. Therefore, I'm prepared to work my absolute hardest.  Another class I'm excited about is my PE class, self-defense! I feel as if this class will be a good work-out, but very beneficial. Unfortunately, crime rates are out of this world in today's society; so, I feel as if this class will help me protect myself better in any given situation. Hopefully, I won't ever have to use the stuff I learn in this class. My daddy is very pleased that I've chosen this class to take as my PE!

Future confusion:
If you haven't noticed by now, I'm one of those anal people who has to have a plan. Yes, I will admit it. I'm anal! It's one of the many flaws that I possess. It seems as if every semester I question whether I'm in the right major, what I'm supposed to do when I grow up, where's this journey taking me? I realize that God has a beautiful plan for my crazy life and by trusting him with everything I'm sure to end up where I'm supposed to be. However, I'm also impatient. Therefore, this uncertainty is killing me! Last semester I considered switching into English. Now, I'm just questioning all sorts of things!? I've been taking the online tests the career center at my university suggests. They've helped a tad bit and have provided me with a bit of reassurance. Everyone I've taken has suggested something along the lines of politician/public administration and social work. WELLL...let's see, last year I debated pretty heavily to switching to social work. So, I'm back at that. Regardless of what my major is my career goal is to impact lives. When my journey comes to an end I want to know that I've impacted someone's life. Then and only then, will I feel as if I've lived a satisfactory life. With this goal, I will be able to accomplish it through both public administration and social work. However, they are very different. Do I want to work with the individual or do I want to create and implement policies that help protect the community? Oh dear...

Below is a one of my favorite artists: Lady A
"I Run to You"

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

"I need you to understand..."

It's a little late, but happy new year! I'm terribly sorry I haven't written in a while; my mind has been in different places lately.

New Year, new beginning:
Anyway, it's a new year which means a new part of my journey is beginning.  I hope everyone has figured out their new year resolutions and that they have all been going as planned! I myself, have found mine to be a challenge. Mine is rather personal, but I feel as if it is a very important part of my journey. Resolution: stick to my devotion and further my relationship with Jesus Christ. Needless to say, I definitely let some things go last year, but I am doing my best to get myself back on track. In order to do so, I've been working on a one year devotion for students which is actually the title.  Rick Christian is the author and he is quite amazing.

This book was given to me by a family friend who has been more so of a mentor for me. She is a retired teacher and coordinator of the AIG program at the high school I graduated from. She's a graduate of UNC with her undergrad in public policy and political science and she also has her masters in public administration. She has changed the lives of many students and continues to do so everyday. The grandmother of two, and mother of three. Although she is retired from teaching she continues to change the lives of students everyday. She attends seminars throughout the year that are held in well-known places such as Harvard University. She is a woman of God and genuinely cares for today's society and the future of today's generation. I could continue with the many things this woman has done and continues to do, but you'd be reading this post all day long! If it isn't obvious by now, this person is very special to me. She has done a lot for me from reading my English papers to looking over my college applications to teaching me some of the biggest life lessons I will learn. She is one of my biggest fans and I don't know what I would have done or would do with out her. In the inside of the book she wrote, "Jamie, I hope this will remind you how much God loves you and what a great plan he has for you." Those words will forever stay with me.

As a college student it is inevitable that I will face many challenges and will see things I have never seen before. Some of these will challenge my relationship I have with God and I will undergo some of the pressures I will face (even if I try my hardest not to). Despite the many mistakes I will make and sins I will commit, isn't it amazing that God will still love me unconditionally? That he will still forgive me for all of the stupid things I do in this crazy life of mine? Isn't it incomprehensible how much he loves us? Every single one of us... It honestly, blows my mind. I'm definitely looking forward to the life he has planned for me, the journey he will take me on.


Christmas:
Christmas was wonderful, but it isn't over for me yet! Having dad home has been great, even if he does pick on me constantly. On Christmas day, not only did my family celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, but also the birth of my granny! She turned 83 on December 25! This weekend, my family will be traveling to my dad's parents, so we can do Christmas with them. It is hard to find a time where we can all get together, because we each live such busy lives. My grandparents stay on the go, my family is always busy and I'm in college, therefore I must work around this college schedule. My dad's sister is married and has two boys. One 15 and the other 17. Eli, the 17 year old, is about to graduate; so, it is obvious that he is very busy preparing to experience a new chapter in life. Henley, the other cousin, is also very active with school and sports. It's all just crazy! So, we normally all get together the first of the month. I'm looking forward to seeing them all! I miss them very much (they live in South Carolina, so we don't see them often). I'm sure this weekend will be very enjoyable.

New addition:
On Sunday, we will be adding a new addition to our family!! :) We are getting a new puppy! She is a sheltie and we have decided to name her Kensie (we might change the spelling to Kenzie). It's a bittersweet time, in my opinion. Over the summer we lost our first sheltie, Zoe. Zoe was an amazing dog and was a part of our family. We got her when I was four years old, so I grew up with her. Therefore, it was veryyyy hard to let her go. I'm very excited to get Kensie, but it is a bit weird to me because we've never had another sheltie. I'm sure she is going to make a great addition to our family and will be a great friend to Cadie, our spoiled miniature dachshund.

Anyhow, I hope everyone is doing well and has had a great holiday!

Below are pictures of Kensie and Zoe. Again, Kensie is the puppy and Zoe is the grown Sheltie.



Monday, December 13, 2010

A journey bigger and further than mine...

Tomorrow is the day!!!! My daddy comes home! He left this morning around 3 AM here (east coast, U.S.). You know, I'm concerned about my grades, I'm a perfectionist. I have an exam tomorrow before I go to the airport, but really I could care less. I just want my dad! As I've stated previously, it has been a long 40 days and communication was rough. The internet connection in Bangladesh is very slow; therefore, I couldn't skype my dad. We had to email, and then it only permitted emails when dad was able to get a strong enough connection for them to go through. We received two phone calls, one on thanksgiving and one a few days ago. The phone calls, cost $3.00 a minute, so they were even kept short. It doesn't matter anymore though, HE IS COMING HOME!!!! This is truly the best Christmas present...ever.

Dad's journey has been quite an amazing one. He was  military brat, therefore he has seen the world (and he still is...). He has helped keep my small town safe and he still is. He has a relationship with God that is admirable. Hopefully, God and I will agree next time to keep daddy in the United States. Ha ha! Anyway, dad's journey is bigger and more progressed then mine, but that comes with age and the opportunities you have. I know that my time will come though! I'm looking forward to it.

Prayers for safe travel, please.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

"...got Jesus on my necklace..."

Hello everyone!

I have some great news that I would love to share with you!

Before Thanksgiving break I applied for a tutoring position at my university's Writing and Speaking Tutorial Center. There were 15 applicants for only two positions, I was very nervous. Right before break I received an interview; the interview went really well and I felt very good about it. Well, yesterday I received an email offering me a consulting position for next semester! Of course I accepted! I'm very excited and this job will hopefully allow me other opportunities in the future. Thankfully, I will NOT be dealing with math and science! I definitely would not have received a position in that the department. That stuff is just not my strong point! Ha ha! Anyway, I just thought I would share the good news. This job is just another part of my journey! :)

On another note: My dad comes home in seven days! I'm soooo excited and I know the rest of my family (including my daddy) is also! It's been a long forty days and we're all ready for him to be back in the U.S. Unfortunately, I have an exam the day he returns, but I will be done early enough that I can go with my mom to the airport!!! I'M SO EXCITED. Please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Also, it's the end of the semester...which means exams! My first is on Friday and I have two! EWW. Then I have two more the next week. If you will, please keep all college students in your prayers. This is a very stressful time of the year, but it will have its rewards in the end- the degree!

Monday, November 29, 2010

"The little things you do to me are taking me over, I wanna show ya."

Hello everyone!

Here are just a few thoughts and updates.

Thanksgiving:
I hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving! It was wonderful seeing my dad's side of the family, but it was different not having him there. He was able to call on Thanksgiving night and it was so nice that I was able to actually TALK to him. He is doing really well, but is ready to come home; mom and I are DEFINITELY ready for him to come home too! Dad's trip to Bangladesh has definitely been an "experience" for him, but the whole family also. Being away from daddy 40 days hasn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be; then again, I still have 16 more days to go! He'll be home just in time for Christmas! I think about him several times during the day and pray for him every night. It's a very admirable thing he is doing over there and it appears that Bangladesh has a plethora of history behind it. The country is very poor and their government is very corrupted; their laws haven't been updated since the 70s. I don't see how they're even functioning. Although, I have very little knowledge of the country and their current situation it appears to me that if they were able to update their laws, that they would still have trouble implementing them considering their financial stability. Then again, if they were able to update and implement them, I feel as if they would be able to prosper a bit more. Who knows though, I could be completely off. Like I said, I have very little knowledge of the country and where the stand in the world. I expect that I will learn a lot more about it once daddy returns and I'm looking forward to it!

Anyway,  Thanksgiving went well. My boyfriend was able to come to my hometown Saturday. It was his first glimpse of where I grew up  and where my mom's family is from! I'm really glad he was able to see a part of it and meet my grandmother along with my church family! He seemed to enjoy himself; although he was only there for a very short time. While I was on break, I found out that my mom is going to have surgery on her foot on December 21. Please say a prayer for her. It's definitely going to be a challenge for her.



The Little Things:
Through out my journey, I've noticed that it's the "little things" that mean the most to me. It wasn't until my junior year in high school that I came to this realization.  The guy I was dating at the time is the one who pointed it out to me. His church has "youth Sunday" and he was given the opportunity to preach and it was the "little things" that his sermon was on. I don't think I'll ever forget that Sunday. After that, I started to notice the little things more and more. Eventually, I noticed that it was the smallest things such as a smile, or someone simply asking "How are you?" and knowing they were saying it with sincerity, is what meant the most to me.        

I suppose this is on my mind, because yesterday I noticed one of the "little things." My grandma is the best for contributing to the smallest aspects in my journey that make me smile. You see, she does things for me that she doesn't have to do (and she knows she doesn't have to do it, but insists on doing it anyway). She is ALWAYS trying to give me money. It's true...I'm a broke college student, but I've been blessed with more than enough. Granny could use the money more than me, but she some how manages to give me money. I really don't know how she does it. Her lately, she's been sending it in the mail, but this time she was sneaky. She left me an envelope and wrote on it that I was not supposed to open until 7:00 PM that night (she knew I would be back at school). Of course, I do what she says and there is the money and a card. Her cards and little notes are always so thoughtful. Aside from always trying to give me money, I always "hear" about how she's been bragging about me; I'm really not that special. Granny likes to go Burger King to get her dinner some nights and the staff now knows her. I've been with her a couple of times to eat when I'm home from school, so they recognize me also. They know me because I'm her grand daughter and they're also aware of my dad's political position he holds at home. Therefore, it never fails that every time I go into Burger King they always speak to me, but I swear that they know more about me than I know about myself!  It's little things like that, knowing that my granny is so proud of me and loves me so much, that mean the most to me.

This week, I ask that you pay attention to the "little things" and notice the joy that they bring you.

Below is the song "You Are My Sunshine." Granny has always told me that I will always be her sunshine, that's even what she calls me. Well, she'll always be my sunshine too!

Monday, November 22, 2010

"The colors that the rain throws, ballerina dance softly..."

So, Thanksgiving is this week. What are you thankful for? There are so many things that I could name off, but I believe the list would go on & on! God has blessed me with so much. Here are just a few: my amazing family, boyfriend, and best friends. My WONDERFUL university and education that I'm receiving, a nice place to live, and a car to drive. I'm thankful for all of my past experiences, even the one's that I'm not so proud of. I'm thankful for the beauty of music and art of dance; the magnificent colors of the world as well. Like I said, the list could go on. Every day, I find something new and try to see the beauty in it, even the most sticky situations (that one doesn't come so easily & often, I simply don't want to find the positives in it).

Currently, I'm using this blog post as a mean of procrastinating! I REALLY don't want to work on my presentation OR finish my paper up. Instead, I think I'll attempt to find the "beauty" of the two assignments...once I finish them, I'm one step closer to Thanksgiving break and completing my education (even if I have a LONG way to go- thanks grad school). Hahaha

Ok, back to a more serious matter. Is there something in your life that just sparks your emotions? A song? A book? A painting? Tonight, I've had my iTunes playing and it's always certain songs that I just connect with. I may not even be experiencing what the artist is describing, it's simply the music, the beat, the instruments. It's an amazing feeling, but it makes me miss dancing that much more. In my opinion dancing is the most beautiful form of art, it's just so passionate! I'm soooo THANKFUL for music and dance and for having the opportunity to dance competitively from age 4 to age 18.

Anyway, I suppose I will finish up with my random thoughts and get back to my paper. :(

Here is one of the songs I'm currently listening to that sparks all of those emotions I was talking about earlier. It's Jason Mraz's "A Beautiful Mess." I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



Since I'm reminiscing I've decided I would upload a video of one of my favorite dances I did in high school. The song is "Mama" from a Broadway musical & the type of dance is lyrical.